West Point Pillow Fight Injures 30
No, no need to reread the title, you’ve read it correctly. This isn’t satirical, although I wish to God it were. A pillow fight at the United States Military Academy has made national news after 30 cadets were reportedly injured.
So, here we are. The future lieutenants of the United States Army, hospitalized due to concussions sustained in a pillow fight. Good luck being that guy when you get to your unit, sir.
There is good news however- after reviewing a video of the incident on the CNN website, I’m happy to report that the cadets were in fact wearing PT belts during the indecent. A move that undoubtedly saved countless more lives and was the sole reason the pillow fight (it pains me to write those words) claimed no fatalities.
All jokes aside though, the fact that 30 people were injured during a fight with pillows is almost impressive in nature. However, the Army doesn’t seem to find the incident at all amusing and has ordered a military police investigation into the incident.
Of the 30 injured cadets, 24 received concussions (although none serious). Other reported injuries include a broken nose, a dislocated shoulder, a fractured cheekbone and a broken leg.
There seems to be a lot of outcry about how violent behavior such as this shouldn’t be allowed. But let’s cut through all the bullshit here, you don’t go to the military academy to get a degree in basket weaving. You’re there to become an officer in the United States Army, which means one day your job will be to lead men into combat (unless you pick some lame MOS no one cares about) and fucking kill.
Maybe behavior such as this shouldn’t be encouraged, but let’s not demonize it either. The Army is getting soft enough as it is; it’s a humiliating blow that a pillow fight is an actual topic of discussion. Privates routinely get their lives destroyed in their units for any plethora of reasons; sure, sometimes you’ve an asshole NCO on a power trip but most of the time you fucked up and now it’s time to pay the piper. This isn’t cruel, its character building and I guarantee you, you wont make the same mistake a second time around.
Let’s stop focusing on pillow fights and spend more time trying to figure out how to teach lieutenants how to read maps.